Navigating Pools and Beach Days

With summer around the corner, it’s the perfect time to get out on the water with our toddlers. While pool and beach days can be lots of fun, they also can be meltdown triggers, whether our toddlers are unsure of the water or love it and never want to leave. When safety is priority, how can we hold boundaries (like having to wear life jackets, having to leave, or walking at the pool) AND manage the tantrums when they pop up?

Heather is here with tips on everything water safety and tantrums, from getting your toddler comfortable with the water and establishing clear safety boundaries to navigating peer pressure, so we can set ourselves up for success and more fun this summer with our toddlers.

**Listen to the full podcast episode here or read on for the tips!

Getting Comfortable with the Water

Some toddlers love the water while others don’t want to be near it at all. If you have a toddler who is unsure of the water, whether being wet is just new and uncomfortable or they have an underlying fear, there are a few things we can do to help them get more comfortable with the water and begin to have fun.

First we want to find ways to engage them in water play, easing into the feeling of water while making it fun. We can do this by inviting them into different water activities or games with us.

EXAMPLES

• Pouring water from cups, either contained in bins, in the sink, or in the bath  
• Encouraging gentle splashing in the bath
• Having fun floating toys in the bath
• Bringing favorite toys to the pool for them to play with
• Using a watering can to sprinkle their hands and feet
• Sitting on the edge of the pool and letting them pour water on you, showing that it is fun and safe

These sorts of gentle and fun interactions are what helped one of Heather’s toddlers get back into the pool again for swim lessons after having a fearful experience before!

To help our toddlers get comfortable with basic swimming skills and water safety, we can talk about them during the day and practice them before we even go to the pool or beach.

EXAMPLES

• Blowing bubbles in the bathtub
• Practicing holding their breath and puffing out their cheeks
• Pretending to swim through the air by moving your arms in the motions
• Laying on the ground and practicing kicking or floating on our backs

Establishing Clear Water Rules and Boundaries

Rules around water keep everyone safe and it’s important to explain this to our toddlers in ways they can understand.

Here are common pool safety rules suggested in the AAP guidelines:

1. No running around the pool: This is important so that no one slips and hurts themselves, and so that no one accidentally falls into the pool.
2. Not going in the water without an adult: We should always be with our toddlers in the water or know where they are to help them if needed.
3. Knowing where it is and is not safe to jump or dive: We can teach them what the “No Diving” signs look like and point them out.
4. Knowing where you can stand and reach: We can show them how to hold onto the side of the pool and that certain areas are safe for them to stand and others are too deep.

For these important rules, we can prep them ahead of time, give them visuals if we have some, read books about the pool, and be consistent in reminding them when we are there.

Other Helpful Swim Rules

• Boundaries and points that they should not swim passed: Maybe there are swim lanes and ropes marking off certain areas, like the deep end. For a backyard pool, we can create a visual or sign for them to remember where not to go passed.
• Show them where they can get out and how: Teaching an exit strategy so they know that if they fall in, they should always move to the shallow end or to a ladder or stairs.
• Have designated chairs to sit in before you get in and when you get out: This helps them have a place to go so they aren’t wandering around, and a place to rest when they need it.
• Always have them ask before getting in the water: It is important that we can be with them or keep a close eye on them for safety.  
• Don’t drink or swallow the water: Instead we hold our breath and blow bubbles.

These same rules established at a pool can translate to the beach as well! When Heather took her twins to the beach, they already understand the concept of not going deeper, stopping at a certain point, asking before they could get in, and having a time and a place to rest. This made being at the beach much less chaotic and more enjoyable for everyone.  

The good news is that you don’t need to go to an in ground pool to practice these basic rules. You can implement them with a backyard splash pad, kiddie pool, or sprinkler too!

Boat Safety

Especially if you are going to be on boats a lot in the summertime, it’s worth investing in a US Coastguard approved life jacket, sized for your toddler. These are the safest for being out in open water.

Also, having a properly sized life jacket that is comfortable for your toddler to wear can be key to avoiding tantrums surrounding not wanting to wear it. You can also make it a fun item to wear, let them pick it out or put stickers on it, and practice wearing it before a boat ride to help them get used to it.

Handling Peer Pressure

While you are out at the beach, the pool, or out on a boat ride with others, you might encounter some different opinions on water safety. Some family members and friends might not think certain rules are necessary, or allow their children to do different things than yours. Know that you are the one who knows whats best for your toddler at the age and stage that they are at.

To help navigate these sometimes difficult situations gracefully, you can prepare a response ahead of time.

EXAMPLE

• You can say: “Water safety is important to our family. We are introducing these rules now to set them up for success in the future.”
• Why this works: When you have reasons that are simple, clear, and tied to your family values, people are less likely to argue with you about them.

Be Consistent

Whatever we decide on as our water safety rules and boundaries, we want to be consistent with them and follow through. Sometimes this leads to our toddler having tantrums, but we can sometimes prevent these tantrums before they even happen by preparing them ahead of time, building them into our routines, and making the experience fun.

EXAMPLES

If your toddler has a hard time leaving the pool or the beach when its time to go or take a break, you can:

• Give them a countdown warning: “OK five minutes left! Two minutes! Let’s countdown, 10, 9, 8, 7, … Time to go!”
• Set up a visual timer so the can see time passing more concretely.
• Remind them of the next things on the schedule: “We get to rest and have the snack you picked out!” “Its time to go home for lunch, nap, and having friends over later!”
• Make the transition fun by inviting them into play: “Let’s fly out of the pool and to the chairs!”

I hope these tips help you with your toddler and the full summer days ahead! As always, if you find yourself needing more parenting tools and support, sign up for the free Transform Aggressive Toddler Behavior and Tantrums Guide and Workshop here!

Hi! I’m Dabney, mom to three boys in three years! I found Heather through her podcast while searching for tools to help my own toddler’s aggressive outbursts and button pushing behaviors. Few voices in the parenting world address how to manage the intensity of these toddler behaviors when you have not just one but two or more children with you.

Enter Heather, an educator for ten years turned twin mom of two boys with stories and strategies that highlighted how to manage these hard moments while also being outnumbered. I participated in her Transform Aggressive Toddler Behavior and Tantrums Workshop and Cohort and found her strategies simple and effective. Not only is my parenting better for it, but I am growing in my confidence along this journey collecting tools along the way.